#if anyone has a remedy help
Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t I find the only patch of fire weed in my front yard and roll around in it while changing my oil?
Fuck. It feels like my calf, knee and hand have glass in them. Way worse than stinging nettles.
No dice, I need a reliable beard.
I’m not the guy you’re looking for then.
I wanna touch you beard. And maybe your butt.
Okay, but fair warning, I shave at the drop of a hat regardless or whether anyone likes it or not.
And I really do have a sweet ass.
Fart some questions in my ask box because I’m a human being too and want you to want me to answer questions.
Hell, even leave me a compliment or tell me how much you want to touch my butt. I’m into it.
Let’s freaking rock and roll.
Look at my arm right there. You see that? I got that when I was 18 years old, and I’ll tell you something: I regret it, cause this tattoo don’t come off. I have a tattoo of a cow’s head because I loved that cheese then. So I get the cow, and I go in there and I’m a little drunk… and I said, “Gimme that cow head from that cheese, I love that cheese… ” And now I have a cow, a cheese cow on my arm, Brendan. Don’t get a tattoo, that’s what I’m telling you. Play soccer. Brendan, take a look at my chest. You know what that is right there? That’s the woman from the Chiquita Banana. I got that tattooed on my chest. I am an idiot. I’ve got trademarked products all over my body. It’s like going to a market. Because I was drunk one night. Don’t live like me.